James Hamilton AKA Big Jim AKA My Dad

I have nothing but love and respect for my Dad, Jim.  

He is old fashioned; self identifies as working class and enjoys half a bottle of whisky most nights.  He shouts and swears at random objects like mobile phones, television remote controls and new-fangled kitchen utensils that don’t work.  He serves portions of Scottish food (like mince and tatties) which could cure world hunger but he believes there is something wrong with people who don’t clear their plates.  He thinks he is being utterly PC and impressive by saying ‘I’m going to get a CHINESE for my dinner tonight’ while winking at us all.  He reads the Daily Record and watches old episodes of ‘Only Fools and Horses’ repeatedly (loudly laughing every time).  He hates the dentist but loves old fashioned toffee bars - so frequently loses a veneer and remains toothless for a week or two.  He shows aggression to anyone who tries to intimidate him or a loved one and cracks dirty jokes often, loudly and in inappropriate places.  He also has hands that resemble large shovels.  

He is named ‘Big Jim’ by all of my friend’s children and all of my little cousins.  He tries to avoid being climbed over by them and sat on when they see him but they just adore him.  He has a large ‘beer belly’ which makes him look like the world’s first pregnant male but he refuses to eat the healthy food lovingly prepared for him by his partner Sylvia.  He takes over in the kitchen, the garden and whenever there is driving involved.  He shouts loudly about the stuff he dislikes but in the end always does the right thing.  He gives the best hugs.  He never says ‘I love you’ but he makes everyone feel loved.  He shows compassion to everyone, including strangers.

Unconditional love is hard to find and hard to describe but, Big Jim gives it out freely.  Despite his ‘scottishness’ and his inability to discuss how he feels, he is the warmest, fairest, and most generous man I know.  He takes every person he meets as an individual and is prepared to like everyone he meets.  Evidence of this being the transvestite drinking buddy he met at my brother’s last birthday party.  

Throughout my life my dad has always been there for me and my siblings, in the background, waiting to celebrate with me or catch me if I fall.  Through good times, bad times, exciting times and everyday life he is there.  We don’t have to speak every day, we don’t have to be polite, and we don’t have to buy each other expensive gifts or even remember birthdays.  He forgives, forgets, celebrates, commiserates and understands. 

 

Unconditional love – affection, understanding, forgiveness – are the best gifts a parent can give.  He truly gives me the confidence to live life fully and to do what I want without hesitation and to make myself better.

  

If I ever become a parent, the ability to love unconditionally is the legacy he will have passed on through me. 

He certainly is a Jolly Good Fellow.